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Old 03-31-2008, 09:57 AM
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Default A lawsuit to stop the end of the world

For all you Commie sympathizers who think the U.S. is the biggest danger to the planet, check out the most important lawsuit in the history of the world (potentially anyway).

The world is about to end; are you wearing clean underwear?
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:28 AM
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There is absolutely nothing to worry about. I already have devised a solution to the problem.

Let us assume that CERN creates a black hole that will end the world. Due to the significant scientific information it would provide, it would warrant them a Nobel Prize. This is good and all, but now you have a situation of "the world ending", which is not so good.

So, on one side we have a group with a Nobel Prize with an "end of the world" exponent. Let us say n represents the nobel prize factor and X represents "existence". That mean we could represent the CERN group as n^-x (end of the world would be the opposite of existence and would be exponential growth as the function of X - existence).

Now, we also have Al Gore who won a Nobel Prize for saving the world. He would then be represented as n^x - nobel prize to the power of existence, also an exponential growth based on the function of x.

Now, what does this do for us?

This means, if we can then get Al Gore and the CERN scientists, with their Nobel Prize trophies, in the same room, we can apply the weights of their achievements against each other.

"But Adam, n^-x * n^x = 1. We are still lacking existence!"

And my wise and observant commentator, you would be correct! That is why we would have to increase the Al Gore factor to n^2x. Why is this so? Because when Al Gore won the Nobel Prize for saving the world, existence was already existent, so he added a growth of existence ... n^2x.

So, if we get them in the same room:
n^2x * n^-x = n^x

Q.E.D
We have a world that exists with Nobel Prizes and no black holes (or Al Gores).
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Old 03-31-2008, 11:12 AM
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I don't really see this as an area where the court can rule. (It's a U.S. court, and CERN is based in Europe.)

Still, if they do destroy all life on the planet, I might think about a personal injury suit.
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Old 03-31-2008, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Illiniwek View Post
I don't really see this as an area where the court can rule. (It's a U.S. court, and CERN is based in Europe.)

Still, if they do destroy all life on the planet, I might think about a personal injury suit.


You liberals and your lousy proton accelerator chasing lawyers ... next thing you know you'll be suing Mr. Wizard (rip) for convincing Mikey to eat those Pop Rocks while chugging Coke ... who knows where these kids will go today with their Mentos technology.
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Old 03-31-2008, 12:30 PM
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I think there is a "strangelet" loose in Philadelphia, based on all of the "strange matter" I've observed around town.

Fess up... who's been smashing particles without telling anyone?

__Jason
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Old 03-31-2008, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Illiniwek View Post
I don't really see this as an area where the court can rule. (It's a U.S. court, and CERN is based in Europe.)

Still, if they do destroy all life on the planet, I might think about a personal injury suit.
But they can force US companies to not furnish them with supplies. Fermilab (Go Illinois!) supplies parts critical to the project.
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Old 03-31-2008, 01:42 PM
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eh, I'm curious enough...let 'em do it.

Lord knows there are plenty of things on this planet that should be fed into a quantum shredder anyway.

oooh....what if we could open and close it? That'd be neat.
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Old 03-31-2008, 02:11 PM
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Maybe it'll open a wormhole to a parallel Earth, where reptiles, not humans, developed consciousness
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