I have to agree with Sycamore here. Self-defense with overwhelming force: shock, awe and a foot to the balls.
And $2 on $10 for delivery is fine.

Shut up.

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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

So many tough people on this thread, yet I've never seen any news or police reports of pizza delivery drivers getting f'ed up.

I'll show all y'all. I just ordered a pizza and I'm only going to tip him 18 cents. When he complains and/or spits on me, I'm going to bust him in the nuts, hit him with my ring hand, give him a beating, and everything else known to man because its disgraceful if he acts any other way then smiling and taking up the butt like a good servant.

That two bit punk doesn't know what's coming to him. He thinks he has a rough job?!?! I'm sitting here hungry and debating the words I'll use when reviewing the latest batman movie on fandango. People rely on me to accurately portray the movie as an ohno!, no, soso, go, or must go; meanwhile, I've got to deal with this twerp who thinks he's getting a dollar for a dime's worth of service? I'm going to give him a dollar then make him hollar as I crunch his jewels!

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olympics rule

You gots to slap him with yo pimp hand ... and make sure you come correct! Know wha I'm sayin?

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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

Well, I ran into a slight problem.

First, I got my food within 20min., which is nearly impossible since I'm on the furthest end of QV and they are at 17th and south. It is piping hot and pretty damn good.

Secondly, my bill was 17.59. I gave him a $20. I had my stance prepared to give him a slackjaw he wouldn't soon forget.

"Thankyou so much" he said.

"Can I ask you a question?" I defensively replied.

"Sure".

"Was that enough tip? I need you to be honest with me, and I have more money right here if it wasn't."

Without studdering he said, "Its plenty sir. You are always very nice to us. Very nice and always come out before we have to call you. You are very nice, do you need more napkins or anything?".

Well, I lost heart and couldn't rob him of the family jewels.

So I am left inevitably clueless as to what a proper tip for a pizzaman has become, let alone how to start a fight with one.

At anyrate, happy lunch:

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olympics rule

weak, I would've drilled him with a sack of nickels... and not given him a single one afterwards

Hey there fellas, let's take it easy there! Delivery guys get stiffed all the time, and gas is expensive. I'd tip more like $4 on a $20 order. Two bucks ain't ****, and THAT delivery guy was being polite.

1. Myself, and assumably brian614, were joking.
2. If you did the math as I just did, you'd see that I tipped 15% for delivery. When I go out and spend an hour(on and off)with a waitress at dinner I tip 30%. 20% if they sucked. They have expenses as well. Why is it that I must tip an equal amount for a person that has no more than 5-10 minutes with my pizza? Because he has expenses? So do waitresses. So do taxi drivers. In fact, I spend more time with taxi drivers than delivery people spend with my food-don't ever see threads begging people to tip their cabbies more.

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olympics rule

Sorry, I was kinda joking too! I guess my logic is that 5-10 minutes is plenty of time to hock a big 'ol loogie or booger on my pizza, and that is what I hope to avoid as a repeat customer by tipping well.

Yeah, definitely a joke. My tipping seems to be middle of the pack, as I described a little earlier in the thread.