If you got 'em, share 'em...

Tonight alone:

I've got condoms, I'm just asking where condom kingdom is.

Tonight I had to draw a witch eating a baby, an apple logo with the world trade center bitten out, and lips for a girl on work release-I thought I was in (something) ring of hell

You're not man enough to do a SoCo and Lime with me?

I don't care who I go home with, I won't remember it tomorrow.

I do advertising-I don't understand why they need to advertise

Mind you, I was in one of our "classier" joints tonight.

__________________
Peter Cetera:
Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying

This is what was said to reporters after a woman was raped, leapt out her 3rd story window to escape her attacker, landed on the sidewalk and was seriously injured.

http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news.../15932757.html

Matt Ghafary, owner of a store near the crime scene, said he often saw the victim leaning out her window smoking a cigarette. He watched in horror as rescue workers placed the bleeding woman onto a stretcher and into an ambulance, he recalled. "She was alive, but she was covered in blood and calling for help," Ghafary said.

Ghafary's brother Jeffrey, gesturing toward the chaotic scene and the shocked onlookers, said of the incident: "It's eventually a bad influence for the businesses in the area."

Jayzus. Almost as intelligent as some guy interviewed by the local news where I used to live regarding the fire in a store that sold grills and filled the gas tanks to go with them: "It's a shame; it's where I do all my propane shopping."

Reading this thread, I just have to share a quote from my mechanic over in Fishtown:

"Sh*t! 59 year old women anin't supposed to F**kin' do sh*t like that with their bodies, jack!"

There was a lot more to the conversation. I'm not posting the rest.

I recently overheard 2 men talking while walking down South St:

"Damn son, all my kid's moms are mad b*tches"

It took a moment to register, I nearly pi$$ed myself laughing. You can't make stuff like that up.

I had to revive this thread because I'm still chuckling now. I was walking towards CVS from 10th to 11th on South and the road crew was doing their thing....One guy says, "Hey, we need to move that port-a-potty up..... (a few blocks)" the other guy yells back, "Yeah right, I'm pinching one right now!"

Funny stuff...

__________________
"And Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they're going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and Election Day."--Rev. Arnold Conrad

A bit more disturbing than weird, my wife and I were walking down the street while a guy was in a car yelling into his bluetooth device, "ok, so you sucked his d%ck then you sucked my d%ck?!".

From this weekend...

"Awwww, the stripper store. I miss those shoes."

You would have thought she was talking about puppies.

3rd and south today, in a slow drawn voice...gender will be obvious in a moment.

Man, I've got to go home and put my tampon on, and put my clothes on, and put my curlers on.