Ok, you were reminding me of one of my friends who gets excited when she comes across a guy like that which is why she will always be alone.

oh GOD no!!!

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I was saying I understand now-lol And that's what I initially thought when I read your post.

I would disagree with the strength of this statement. I just have one basic requirement that strongly relates to a girl's health and activity level. I don't believe that having a single preference like that in a woman makes me picky about physical attraction. I'm not looking for super skinny, and in fact don't find that attractive. I'm looking for average/healthy/active.

In part, this is because I am into a lot of outdoor activities and the ideal person would be able to share at least some of those with me. Unfortunately, it's hard to find people like this in Philadelphia, so I do plan to gtfo of here as soon as I can. I'm still stuck here a few more years though

You can disagree, I still think that it still fits.

I am sure that not every overweight girl you might happen to meet won't fit the stereotype & might actually enjoy physical/outdoor activities. And yea, I'm sure they're overweight for a reason, but that doesn't mean they're not healthy or inactive.

I had a friend who was about 5'1" and maybe close to 400lbs. No issues with her cholesterol, blood pressure or her heart. It was hard to believe!! But then again if you associate being healthy with someone being an average weight, then maybe she wasn't healthy! LOL I just spent a few years wondering about her health and apparently, weight aside, she was healthy.

Then I'll look at my dad...(granted he's in his 50's now, but this has always been an issue for him)... who is tall and thin and struggles with cholesterol & has high blood pressure. For as long as I could remember, he's had high cholesterol! You would look at him and think = healthy.

But now that I think of it.. and I'm trying to be funny here.. sometimes when people describe a "thick" or chunky girl, they'll say she's "healthy" LOL

Good luck with finding your mate

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I almost never see any overweight women doing the things I enjoy doing. Unfortunately, I almost never meet any women in Philadelphia who enjoy these things period (skiing, scuba diving, hiking, etc). Even finding someone who likes one of those is really hard! wtf?! I never expected that when I moved here.

Maybe I'm meeting the wrong people, but there doesn't seem to be a ski club in this entire city. Maybe if I get out to the burbs, but I don't even get paid enough to own my own car to go to such a meeting. I can't remember the last time I found someone who was interested in a backpacker vacation So these are some of the things I'm looking for in common with a woman. I did find a girl on CL once that had a lot of these same hobbies, and surprise she wasn't from anywhere near here, but unfortunately she had to leave Philly forever and far sooner than I did so I had to go back onto the market.

I don't want to go too much into what I do for a living (it wouldn't be that hard to find out if you really wanted to know), but I'm going to disagree again. That's morbid obesity--i.e. the level of obesity there can interfere with your body just based on that added weight. At 5'1", 400lbs I'd be surprised if that person was able to do things like climb a flight of steps or move any faster than a standard walk without incline.

Of course we all have anecdotes where someone was thinner and less healthy versus someone who was fat and healthy. One of the stereotypes is Winston Churchill, who was fat, drank a lot, ate unhealthy, and rarely exercized through middle age and lived to be 90. My grandmother too was thin but had sky high cholesterol. It runs in our family. There's many other anecdotes, and often these things have to do with family history. Some people see for example their father die of a heart attack at 40 and become super health nuts, but then suffer the same fate due to unlucky genetics.

But the reality is it's a matter of risk. I mentioned the genetic component, but there's an environmental component to all kinds of diseases. A prime envrionmental component is weight. Being overweight increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis, etc etc etc... Does this mean thin people don't get these things? Of course not! But I'm still going to say it isn't healthy to be fat because you are setting yourself up for numerous diseases.

I am not immune to my own discussion. I was overweight for many years growing up. I got tired of it and lost 80 pounds over a year and I've kept that weight off for almost 10 years now. The kids in school used to tease me for that and other things constantly and I was a total outcast. So it's not like I'm going to sit here or in private and say a lot of the cruel things my peers say about heavier women. I'm not one of those guys who won't touch anything over a size 4 like many guys I know.

So I believe that anyone CAN lose weight. It's a simple matter of diet and exercize. I enjoy doing a lot of that exercize and I want the woman I'm with to enjoy those things too. Since I pretty much never see overweight women doing those things (And they probably can't due to physical demands), I just can't imagine myself in a serious relationship with someone overweight.

Oh, and I am just much more attracted to girls who are BMI 20-25 like me

Understood. I can understand your frustration, though. I just realized where you live! I'm surprised that you can't find someone with those same interests! Especially in the area you live in You might have better luck if you did move, but why the heck should you move?! I think dating just sucks, no matter what.

I am guessing you work at a gym? I don't know..I could also say you work in the medical field, too?

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I met my current girl on myspace. I never tried craiglist as a dating site. never even heard of plentyoffish.

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Americans... still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. ~ Barack Obama