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So it's a relatively innocuous way to start a conversation. I don't follow sports, and discussing the weather is insipid. I'm certainly not going to talk politics with somebody I've just met; and movies, books, etc. have their own problems. But most people are able to talk about what they do all day, and most people are happy to talk about themselves. If you aren't, you always have the option of changing the subject. |
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I have 3 groups of friends - a group of restaurant workers, a few resident physicians, and a group of black guys w/ mixed educational and occupational backgrounds. I've never heard any of them ask someone what their job is, and all hate that question. Doctors hate this question more than anybody. They always vaguely answer w/ "I work in healthcare," or "I work at Jefferson." Unable to take a hint, this is always followed by "What do you do there?" until they relent and say they're a physician. THe interrogator either says "Nuh uh. Seriously?" or acts overly impressed, which can be embarassing. I've even seen people respond w/ "Surgery huh? No ****. That's where the real money is. Good work." The group of dudes crack up and silently groan when they get this question b/c people always act surprised that a black guy in a throwback jersey has a good job in finance (it's true, I see it happen...hillarious). They understand when a woman asks it b/c they think they're all gold diggers, but they think any dude who asks them this question is suspect, and I've seen them say "What do you want to know that for?" I used to never think twice about someone asking me what I do for a living, but these guys are the ones who were telling me how much they hate that question and why, and I started to see their point. Restaurant workers dislike this question b/c being a server or a line cook is the bane of their existence, so they don't feel like talking about it. That one is obvious. Last edited by rpost3 : 06-13-2008 at 12:33 PM. |
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Me too. I think it's a good way to find common ground or learn something new. I know I personally find it affirming when someone shows a genuine interest in what I do, so I figure others feel the same way when the same interest is shown to them. I have no ulterior motive and couldn't care less what other people make. They aren't the ones paying my bills.
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I will try again tomorrow." ---Mary Anne Radmacher |
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Personally I don't think it is an innocent question; I find when people are asking it they're trying to put you in your box and decided if you are worthy of further consideration.
I know some people would argue "no I'm not, I'm interested in the person." Since when is your job who you are? Quote:
self important person: "so what do you DO." Friend: I'm a neurosurgeon. self important person:Oh... I particularly hate getting this line from Realtors. They're all trying to see if I can afford the house I'm looking at. I'm pretty sure the bank is in charge of that, not them -- not that they did a very good job of it over the past couple of years. So they need to STFU and show me the damn granite counter tops. Or maybe it's a great question, I know when people ask it I don't want to speak to them any longer. ETA: I also get "what school did you go do" i.e. "did I go to a better school than you" from young 20 somethings. Last edited by Petra : 06-13-2008 at 12:47 PM. |
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__________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xCiKCxfYqE "If we can't learn from our mistakes, what's the point of making them!" ...my friend Richard. "You are protected by the enormity of your stupidity." Mother to son Victor, in "Notorious" |
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Game. Set. Match.
That was classic. Thank you. I disagree with the job question, however. One thing I've noticed is that this isn't a question you get in Europe, there it is considered a fairly rude line of inquiry (in my experience). ETA: In Indian society I find this to be the first question out after "what is your name." What is your name. What do you do. How much to you make (no beating around the bush here). Are you married. (Only if question 2,3 are satisfactory). Last edited by Petra : 06-13-2008 at 01:06 PM. |
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I think that the sooner this question is asked to a stranger or brand new aquaintance, the more rude it is.
I often tell the truth, but sometimes I say things like "I'm a burglar," or unemployed, or scientist or drunk or something. |
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LOL that's true. The question can be constructive in that I know I don't want to talk to anyone who asks me that right off the bat. I usually get this question from single women, and for some reason, attornies. I also get it a lot when I'm in DC.
Last edited by rpost3 : 06-13-2008 at 01:29 PM. |
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Petra - "since when is your job who you are?" Since it consumes 1/3 - 1/2 of most peoples waking life, I'd say it's a major component of who you are. You can always direct your answer towards hobbies and other interests if you want to, it's a pretty open-ended question.
Rpost- turning this question around, when meeting someone new what do you talk about? How do you make conversation with new acquantainces? |
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