Originally Posted by threecount

I have had many similar thoughts going through my mind like that.

I am a 41-year old male. For the last five years, and it is my own fault, I have been in love with a certain girl. We became stuck in that "best-friends" zone, but I always had hope that we would end up together. She is 13 years younger than me. I felt like we were really getting closer in recent months, then out of the blue, she told me she had a boyfriend for the past month, and was basically hiding it from me because she knew how upset I would be.

Anyway, I still love her. While "chasing" her for five years, I never even dated another girl. I couldn't even thinki of being with anyone else as I still think of ending up with her. I am very shy and I guess have trouble meeting or talking to other girls. I don't have many friends and a very small family, as really, my mom is just alive.

I have this "fear" of being alone, and it really has hit me in recent weeks. I still would like kids, and I know at 41, it is becoming harder, as I don't want to be one of those 65-year old dads when their kid is graduating High School.

I'm sure these are just thoughts running through my mind, and I will feel better, but it's still very difficult.

Originally Posted by I'mSoRad2.0

See this is why you guys should screw as many girls as possible, cause women are running around doing the same thing man.

Originally Posted by threecount

I always here stories and know people that were "best friends" at first and then it lead to more.

I am very hesitant about the Match.com thing or J-Date or things like that. I have never used a dating service.

Originally Posted by Phillybud

Although there was once a time finding a relationship and "true love" was a major priority for me, now I am serene and hardly give it a second thought. I have learned that there are disappointments in life, we don't always get what we want -- now I say "get over it, and move on!".

I won't lie to you, there were times in the past when I saw something on TV or heard a certain song - something romantic - and I would burst into tears! My loneliness and disappointments were so great I considered myself a real loser, a worthless piece of sh*t. But no more! I like myself and have learned to appreciate the good, kind and decent person I am. If someone had rejected me, it was their loss, not mine.

Phillyaggie makes a good point: 'surround yourself with friends and seek out the things that make you happy'.

Self esteem is so important. An earlier post suggested he wished he could lend me his looks. The cheeky lad!!! (and good looks is something I could use ... noone ever wanted me for a modelling assignment!) I felt like responding "and I wish I could lend you my intellect, sincerity, kindness, and appreciation of beauty ..."

There is some hope someone special might enter my life, but I approach life with equanimity: the world is so full of beauty and there is so much to do. To paraphrase the fictional character Auntie Mame : "Life is a f***ing banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death!" A rich, full and satisfying life does NOT require you be part of a couple.

Although single, I am not a monk. I have a couple of "friends" who sometimes come over for lunch, dinner or just company and we usually end up doing naughty things in the bedroom. Once in a great while I'll meet someone briefly ... well ... it's like 'two ships passing in the night'.

Want unconditional love? Why not get yourself a dog or a cat?

What do YOU think?

Originally Posted by Phillybud

Phillycatlady, you are an angel from heaven.

Bless your heart!

Originally Posted by OldMama

Right on, Phillycatlady!! And how about the fifty year olds who will date someone 25 to 35 but not someone their own age. Why don't men extend their upper age requirement to their own age or even a few years older??? Women do it but men rarely do.

Originally Posted by Phillycatlady

I have found men to be quite picky, especially ones on the dating sites. I mean if you are not a 36-26-36, size 6 Barbie doll lookalike they have no interest- despite the fact that they have a beer belly and look nothing like Ken!