Unlucky In Love: Facing life alone ... - Page 21 - PhillyBlog

phillyaggie · #**201** (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 08:21 PM

Seriously though, I guess physical attraction is a big thing for me as well, certainly. I at least need some of that (the good looks, fit, etc) before I can even start to look into the chemistry and see whether the person is compatible with me and I with her. I must be aiming too high or something because I'm still single.

But what I don't get is some people being nit-picky about small things. You get the overall looks, you get the height, you get the fitness. Why do you have to tell me I have crooked teeth so that's it, I'm not worthy of dating you? Isn't there a line beyond which you're just too shallow? Of course, that line is different for different circumstances...

phillyaggie · #**202** (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuronix

The solution to ginger kids is the breeding of gingers with non-gingers. As someone attracted to ginger women, I shall volunteer for this vital mission.

me likes some ginger women too. where do i sign up?

Phillybud · #**203** (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 11:19 PM

C'mon people, we strayed way, way, WAY, WAY off topic.

I started this thread, and I want to hear about single people coping with being single. Like everytime you go out to a restaurant, they sit you at the table near the kitchen door.

Y'know what I mean???!!!!

rpost3 · #**204** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phillybud

"I'll say good-bye to love -
Noone ever cared if I should live or die -
Time and time again the chance for love just passed me by -
So all I know of love is how to live without it ..."
-The Carpenters

The sad song by the Carpenters is so true for many of us. If you can relate to this, how do you deal with it? How do you cope with loneliness and disappointment? Do you feel embittered by not finding your 'true love' or are you serene and accept the situation without hardly ever giving it a thought?

I really would like to hear from people who searched for a romantic relationship, but to no avail. If you consciously want no attachments and love being alone, that might be another thread. How do we adapt to singlehood? Have you given up all hope for finding Mr/Ms Right?

I would love to read your comments and opinions!

I'm 29 and have never told a woman I loved her. I don't even know if I've ever been in love before to be honest, and although I have a woman in my life going on 10 months, I'm pretty sure I don't love her.

My detachment from deep feelings probably doesn't come as a shock to most on the board b/c I come off as a dick on here, but I couldn't be more different in real life. Most use this site to talk to one another, but I usually use it to vent about things I can't vent about in real life b/c I don't want to pointlessly offend anyone. I'm not actually a big meanie, I promise. I'm just venting. So w/ that disclaimer out of the way, I'll continue:

My current relationship is crumbling. We worked together years ago, and I moved out here on little notice, but never forgot about her. One of my friends I met out here knew her and saw her at his high school reunion, and got her number for me. I'd waited 4 years to get back intouch w/ her. Turns out she moved to DC. 2 weeks later she's here for the weekend, and we've been together ever since doing the weekend thing.

She's never said "I love you" to anyone either, oddly enough. We have to be the only two 29 year olds on the planet not to have said that phrase to anyone. And here we are approaching month 10, the longest relationship for either of us, and we're drifting apart.

To take this relationship to the next level past the honeymoon stage, one of us has to move to the others' city pretty soon. She doesn't want to move here b/c she's not sure if she loves me. I don't want to move to DC b/c I'm not sure if I love her, and I'll be miserable if the relationship fails and I'm stuck down there w/ nothing. Plus she hates her job and her roomate, and I want a roommate to split costs. And I have a career that I like and can't duplicate in DC. Not to mention I'm on track to start grad school here in '09 and she wants to attend Drexel's nursing school the same year, so I feel she should be the one to move in August when her lease is up. So we're at a standstill and this relationship is not progressing.

She'll be here this weekend. I used to really look forward to it. Now it's kind of agonizing and stressful b/c I feel like everything I say and do when I'm around her is less natural than it used to be and more an effort just to keep the relationship together. It could very well end this weekend, so believe me when I say I know how you feel. A couple months ago I thought she was the one and we often spoke of what it'd be like to be married to one another. By Monday it could be back to the drawing board, all b/c she "isn't sure" is she loves me, so she won't move here, even though she wants to start nursing school here in '09. Heck, I'm not sure if I love her or not either, but I at least want to give it a shot, b/c what if it turns we do in fact love eachother? Problem is, neither one of us will ever know unless we live in the same town, but neither one of us is willing to make the move.

I know this much though - I'm in the market for a new car, and if this relationship ends, out goes the boring, reliable Camrys and Civics that are practable for round trips to DC, and in comes Mustangs, old Corvettes, BMW 3 series, and those sweet new Dodge Challengers.

rpost3 · #**205** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'mSoRad2.0

See this is why you guys should screw as many girls as possible, cause women are running around doing the same thing man.

You're just a young pup. Hooking up w/ women you aren't dating gets old. Believe me. Hard to believe, but it's true.

brian614 · #**206** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 08:24 AM

rpost, go for the mustang

cheapest 300hp, and looks awesome

/I still manage 24-25mpg on the highway

sorry about your troubles!

KByrd · #**207** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phillybud

C'mon people, we strayed way, way, WAY, WAY off topic.

I started this thread, and I want to hear about single people coping with being single. Like everytime you go out to a restaurant, they sit you at the table near the kitchen door.

Y'know what I mean???!!!!

Just challenge their choice for where to seat you. I do it.

Simply say, "This table over here is better for me."

I tend to eat out earlier than most people, when restaurants are not
as busy, so I rarely have to fight over table location anyhow.

I didn't read most of this thread, so I don't know what others have said(or what
you have said)about coping with being single. I'm single by choice so my
life is the way I want it to be for the most part. I gather that that isn't the
case for you which is why you started this thread, right?

Neuronix · #**208** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phillybud

Like everytime you go out to a restaurant, they sit you at the table near the kitchen door.

Well what if they sit you near a hot redhead?

Though of course invariably she'll be with some guy and I'll probably sit there and think "How did that bozo get her?"

What's great is what my "friends" think of guys that eat in restaurants alone. They sit around and look at how hot the girls are with the various guys and comment about people. When they see someone alone it's "There's the asperger's guy". Great, so not only have girls figureatively kicked me in the nuts too many times to count, but apparently I'm mentally ill since I can't find someone to go eat with me. Oh well, at least I have my food trucks. Maybe food trucks twice a day, every day is the way to go after all

phillyaggie · #**209** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KByrd

Just challenge their choice for where to seat you. I do it.

Simply say, "This table over here is better for me."

I tend to eat out earlier than most people, when restaurants are not
as busy, so I rarely have to fight over table location anyhow.

I didn't read most of this thread, so I don't know what others have said(or what
you have said)about coping with being single. I'm single by choice so my
life is the way I want it to be for the most part. I gather that that isn't the
case for you which is why you started this thread, right?

when i took the OP seriously and tried to answer his questions and engage in a dialogue, the thread soon went off tangent to such a degree that it made me wonder why i bothered to even post something serious. Now when I join in the fun, it again moves back to being serious. When they zig, I zag. Perhaps that's why I'm still single?

phillyaggie · #**210** (**permalink**) 05-23-2008, 01:21 PM

I eat out all the time, and I don't care if people gawk at me or think I'm some weirdo for not having someone to eat with me. When you're single, and still want to at least do some things, you just go and do it. Sure it's a drag and often I've turned myself down from going. But I also go to the movies by myself sometime. Who cares! Just so long as they keep their insensitive comments to themselves, which, thankfully has been the case all along...perhaps in Philly, someone will piss me off by saying something to me out loud! hehe

In a restaurant with a bar, though, just ask to be seated at the bar. Don't allow them to get you to sit at a table, because then, if some woman walks in as well all by herself, and you and she exchange a glance, she wouldn't know if you're there by yourself. If you're at the bar, its much more easier and natural to strike up a conversation and go from there.