When you start a new relationship, would you ask your other half to get an HIV test? What if that person refused?

Yes. Unequivocally yes. If they refuse, then they obviously don't give much weight to your feelings. I've got a deathly fear of needles and if my better half asked me to get one I would still go and do it (and promptly pass out like a little girl).

If this is a relationship that you are just starting, then it's even more important that s/he get tested. It may not be first date type conversation, but it's still pretty important. Especially if you've already slept together - then it's not just important, it's imperative.

But that's just my $.02

Yup. If they didn't then i would say goodbye. FYI. You should ask them to get two - six months apart.

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Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. - Robert Orben

Wow. I'm glad I'm sixty.

AIDS tests and prenups. What a romantic way to start.

Maybe, it might be good idea to talk, to get to know one another before you f#$k. Novel idea from the grandpa.

but maybe the relationship might last past the week.

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“Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.” - Jane Jacobs

I half agree with Chris. Yes get to know the person you're with, but you don't have to wait till you know them well to start from f***ing. Just wear condoms till that point

* And you shouldn't come at someone saying, "I think you need an Aids test" Say "I think we should both get tested". Everyone should get themselves tested on a regular basis.

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I am Boutros Boutros-Gali, put down your guns and listen to Bob Marley.
- Boutros Boutros-Gali

Yes, get all sorts of testing. And if the person refuses, consider it an omission. I can't imagine who would refuse?! My health prof. in high school told me and it always stuck with me: "Everyone your partner has slept with, you sleep with by sleeping with your partner." So while you may "trust" your partner, chances are, you really aren't going to trust all the women/men they've slept with and all the people they've slept with and on and on. Better safe than sorry.

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Resident of Fishtown, Moderator of Fish/No. Libs/Kenzo forum, Real Estate Agent-Prudential Fox & Roach

Better safe than sorry is a truism of the times. What an awful truth.

Next, get an IQ test, then a D&B report. Check criminal background check. Better google for pending law suits - if can't find any, go to Lexus.

Damn. I'm heading for a monastary.

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“Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.” - Jane Jacobs

Better safe than sorry is right. Ten years ago I found myself one of the older friends trying to comfort an 18-year-old I knew who was devastated to find out three people in his senior class had tested positive for AIDS and that for two of them they were infected by the very first person they ever slept with; one girl was infected by a slightly older boyfriend, then they broke up and she slept with a boy in her class she was dating, then they broke up and he slept with the second girl in his next relationship. Just think how much further it could have spread if no one had been tested and they'd slept with other people?

And it's not just AIDS. Herpes and Syphillis are not things you want to have, either, nor is hepatits in any of its forms. And for a woman, even mild STDs that could have been treated easily can go undetected for a long time and leave you unable to have children later in life.

It's nothing to be playing around with. And if someone says no, then that's not a person you want to be dating anyway, much less sleeping with. And don't take anyone's word for it that they're clean. Show your test results on paper, and your partner will then have to show his, too, or feel like a jerk; it's a way of demanding proof without seeming demanding.

And that's my "not-a-mom-but-talking-like-one" lecture for the day!

Do you have to post your test results over the bed? :twisted:

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“Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.” - Jane Jacobs

Chris, I normally find myself either agreeing with you or at the very least respecting what you have to say, but this is a bit uncalled for. This was obviously a serious question posted (possibly by someone who has been on the board for a bit - don't you find it odd that they came out with something that personal on their first post?) and you're mocking their situation. I agree with you that things have changed, and probably not for the better, since you were dispensing your wild oats. But regardless of whether you approve or not, it's just mean-spirited to make light of the situation.