I had three consecutive experiences of getting interested in, and asking out, men I'd been checking out who didn't wear wedding rings, acted unattached, and acted interested in me. I found out they were involved/married before anything disastrous happened, but after I'd started to get my hopes up and got disappointed. The behavior seems to me incredibly disrespectful and thoughtless. Is there a new dating rule out there requiring people to ask outright during a first meeting, are you married or involved?

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"Your silence will not protect you"--Audre Lorde.

As I am in an estranged marriage and have been dating someone for 9 months(and that may be ending soon!), I can only tell you that if I start a conversation with a woman, I believe she should know what my situation is. But, that only happens if some of my flirtations have been accepted.

I can not speak for men in good marriages looking for something extra. Just remember, married does not equate to low life cheaters in every single case.


To answer your question, you are not rude to ask whatsoever.

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The Phils are champs, go phuck yourself!

Depends how far the guy went - a little flirting with a stranger is OK, and it's not like you tell your whole life story to every person you run across, right?

Bad luck running into three dogs in a row, most likely.

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Czar of the 26th Ward.

Yeah you just had bad luck, hon. There is an unwritten rule about going past 3rd base after dating for a while... you go back to his place, not your place. If he's extremely reluctant about that, bingo--he's hiding a relationship, and you should get ready to pull anchor and go back out to sea.

There are no easy ways to detect if a guy is married or hooked-up with a girlfriend already unless you just ask flat out, and there's no real way of figuring out if he's lying if he says no since you don't know what his mannerisms are like when he lies [everybody gives off signs when they're not being honest].

I wouldn't ditch a guy if he already has a girlfriend, but only if they don't live together. If they are, that's a sign he's more than just dating his girlfriend. You'd have to look further and see if their relationship imploded and now they're just roommates waiting for a lease to expire or what (offer to visit him while she's there). At some point though you'd have to put your foot down and demand exclusivity if you want it to go further than just hanging out every few days and I wouldn't put any effort into it until he does sever his ties with his other honey. It's not wrong to start dating a guy who is single but out dating women besides you... it's different for 30+ people than it is for people in their 20s who get incensed that they're not "the one" after five dates.

Hint: I also got advise about re-dating your ex-spouse too, since I have to deal with my brother and my ex-sister-in-law calling me, bitching about each other.

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WHYY pays their CEO $750,000 a year. So WHYY should I renew my membership? Seems they have no problems finding money and spending it unwisely.


And this is why you should donate to PACCA, not PETA:

In September, PETA made headlines in Vermont and across the nation for asking Ben & Jerry's ice cream to use human breast milk in their ice cream, instead of cow milk

Nah. If he is dogging her, he will dog you.

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Czar of the 26th Ward.

This is the tragedy of being a male. The married/taken guys have the "game" that the single guys should have. In reality, the single guys are so nervous and reak of desperation to get some action that it works against them. Meanwhile, the married/taken guys just act naturally and can attract woman like they never had when they were single.

Life is not fair sometimes...

I'm pathetic in the opposite way.

If a cute girl is paying me attention I will usually blurt out something about my wife in the first 3 minutes.

Tenzo (my dog) is a real girl magnet. I've had some girls hit on me just because of how cute he is. So now, within my first 5 sentences I usually say something like; "He listens to me, but he really listens to my wife" or "My wife and I........."

Anytime I'm attracted to a girl and we are talking I always make a comment about my wife.

I wonder if it's because I don't trust myself.
I think it's just a left over from my bachelor days (about 6 years ago) when I would size a woman up as a potential GF within the first 10 seconds of meeting her.

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Peace Out, Philly!

And the female idea that "all the good ones are either taken or gay"

Face it girls, you meat a thirty something guy who is nice and one of your first thoughts is; "what is wrong with him that he's not taken"

Which is totally stupid because YOU, the one who is thinking this, is not taken.

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Peace Out, Philly!

Is your wife reading this?

Joel

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