I'm sitting at my desk, surfing the web, doin' a little writing on a rainy Sunday afternoon. But, actually, I'm waiting for this woman to call me. We're getting together this afternoon for I-don't-know-what. It will be our 2nd date. Haven't been on a "2nd date" in a long time. Seems like slim pickens out there for us older folks. I'm looking forward to it, but truth be told, it's going to be the same as the first date in that I'll, mostly, be trying to figure out if there will be a third date.

Hold on...I'm going somewhere with this. Blogs, advertisements, clubs, etc. are all centered around the twentysomethings out there. There are precious few venues that are comfortable for, or geared toward, an over 40 crowd. Yeah, I know...demographics and disposable income and all that crap. If you know of places or events otherwise, please let me know.

On the other hand, I'll be the first to admit that finding dates and dating are a major league pain-in-the-ass, with not much pay-off. That is, I find that people my age are less likely to show their emotions, go with the moment, and just have fun, which is what I, vaguely, remember is what dating is supposed to be. OK, you're saying my age group is practically dead anyway, and that fun and sex are meant for the young. Well, back to me waiting for this woman to call: I'm actually exciting about spending time with her. She's intelligent and very attractive. I'm certain we will not have sex or be intimate, at this point, but dammit, I feel like a youngster about being with her, nonetheless.

My rant here is aimed at you guys in my age group. Let me (and the world) know what you think about this. Make some suggestions, be open and honest (there's a novel idea!) and speak your piece. I'll let you know how my date goes.

Yes, it does seem many events are geared towards the under 40 crowd. However, there was a Singles Soiree on the Square this past Friday that was targeting a more mature age group.

Check out upcomingevents.com and http://www.calendar.yahoo.com/aeiouphiladelphia for other events listings. You may also want to join any of the Friends of the (you fill in the blank with museum, opera, orchestra, etc.). Also, www.marnieold.com sometimes schedules wine tasting events.

I would also suggest taking a class in something that interests you because women are always taking classes hoping to meet a guy. Whole Foods used to have a singles cooking class for specific age groups or Temple's Continuing Education offers a wide variety of classes to choose from.

Also try volunteering. And www.hurrydate.com has events for specific age groups as well.

Rest assured that statistically speaking there are far fewer men than women in your age group, so the numbers are in your favor.

Well, when I was under 40, and now that I'm approaching 45, I never met a partner in any of the "traditional" ways. Never in a bar on at a "singles night" or anything like that. My partners all came through one of two kinds of connections:

1) Friends of friends. People who know you and know what you like are likely to have other friends that you'll get along with. I'm not talking about friends "fixing you up" here, of course. I'm just talking about naturally-forming social groupings leading to the correct connections.

2) Classes and associations. Social activity focusing on passionate interests is one of the single best ways to meet someone you're compatible with, in my experience.

Events where the only thing you're likely to have in common with all the attendees is that everyone is looking for a date, however, have never worked for me at all.

__________________
Bob Bruhin
Development Director, Delaware Valley Pagan Network
bruhinb@dvpn.org
http://dvpn.org/