OK citizens, let's review some things that have been a fact of life here in this city since the 1700s.


Number 1: The loose trash that is in front of your home and not contained in bags on the sidewalk on trash day has to be picked up by _______

(A) The City of Philadelphia
(B) Paco, who does the lawn every Wednesday
(C) Myself
(D) Magic trash fairies
(E) That piece of crap good for nuthin' [expletive deleted] who threw that CapriSun packet on my stoop and lives in the house next door.


Number 2: When I buy something off the television or from Best Buy, or from some other store where the object came in a cardboard box... on Trash Day do I ____________

(A) break down the cardboard boxes and other larger loose items into sizes no larger than 2'x4' and tie them up with twine or string before setting them out
(B) find a 50-gallon drum and burn them in the street like in the Rocky movie
(C) use the cardboard boxes to securely hold other trash items and make sure to close the lid and/or re-seal the box


Number 3: When is the best time to set out garbage for collection?

(A) The City of Philadelphia's rule for the earliest time for collection
(B) Right before I go to bed, or if I leave my house that evening, set it out as late as possible
(C) If I know the trash guy comes during daylight on the following day, set it out the next morning to reduce the amount of time it stays exposed to the elements
(D) When the f____ ever


Number 4: When weeds start to grow over 12" on the edge of my property...

(A) the weeds act like trash collectors. They will retain trash that blows by and a mound will start to form over time.
(B) I should probably buy some Round-Up! at the store and spray the weeds once every month or so to make sure they never spread and help keep trash away from my house
(C) If I don't believe in chemicals, then I should get on my knees and pull the weeds while wearing gardening gloves, or if I have a lawn and a landscaper because I'm too old to bend over and de-weed, then have the landscaper do it.
(D) None of the above


Number 5: What kind of trash bags are best to place on the street?

(A) Tall kitchen bags
(B) Black garbage (aka "lawn") bags
(C) The plastic bag that I got from the Chinese take-out just moments before


Number 6: In a rowhouse neighborhood, is a leaf blower a good way to clear sidewalks?

(A) Yes
(B) No



NO CHEATING!

















Answer Key:

1. (B) or (C), give yourself +1. All other answers suck and are also wrong.

2. Is (A). Yes, it *IS* (A) and it has always been (A) so shut the f___ up and start tying up your cardboard boxes like you are supposed to.

3. Reasonable people think (B) or (C). Sticklers choose (A), but most ghetto trash think it is (D)

4. A, B and C. If you answered D you should be shot.

5. B. Tall kitchen bags break easily and many people still buy the ones with no ties. The ties don't help matters much because often when they are overfilled they break. Put your tall kitchen bags in a bigger lawn bag so any food smells are contained and help prevent rats and mice from digging through your trash. You're screwed if you have a raccoon problem, though.

6. If you honestly think a leaf blower is a good idea in an urban environment... to clear your sidewalk and blow trash and grass clippings onto the street and others' property, you should be sent to jail. Buy a stupid outdoor aluminum leaf pan and PICK IT UP. It only takes 1 minute.

__________________
Buh-bye.

I see youre enjoying your new neighborhood! HA HA HA HA

What prompted this quiz, you wonder?


Well, tonight was my second time up my block sweeping up the loose garbage that has accumulated in my own lawn which I clear out religiously... and I decided while I was out... I'll go up the block and rake out other people's trash since I was really tired of looking at it.


Lo and behold, I only get halfway up the block and I filled up THREE super huge lawn bags full of loose crap that is sitting in peoples' lawns. And we are only talking about the first 4 feet of property up from the sidewalk, on only one side of the block. Some of the worst lawns were homeowners, not renters. I'm a renter and I keep my exposed lawn clear of trash, including the sidewalk.

Most of it is due to people simply not de-weeding their property. Sure, some goober threw the trash and that's why it's there, but it still has to be picked up. Magic fairies do not come by to clear sidewalks.

And shame on you, you homeowners who think you are holier than thou.

While I was out there doing what only takes about 2 minutes of work every other week.... you're peeping through your door, and leaning back in your bedroom window completely embarrassed at your trashiness.

You know I can see you hiding behind your blinds.


Oh yes... and if you rent, it's not your landlord's responsibility to clear your sidewalk. It's still yours, unless you're paying someone to do it or the landlord is.

__________________
Buh-bye.

It looks pretty now

I got to use my new outdoor sweeper. It works great on all the loose trash. It doesn't work so well on big mounds though.


My block is clean now.

__________________
Buh-bye.

Number 1: The trash that is in front of your home has to be picked up by _______

(A) The City of Philadelphia
(B) Paco, who does the lawn every Wednesday
(C) Myself
(D) Magic trash fairies
(E) That piece of crap good for nuthin' [expletive deleted] who threw that CapriSun packet on my stoop and lives in the house next door.


Number 2: When I buy something off the television or from Best Buy, or from some other store where the object came in a cardboard box... on Trash Day do I ____________

(A) break down the cardboard boxes and other larger loose items into sizes no larger than 2'x4' and tie them up with twine or string before setting them out
(B) find a 50-gallon drum and burn them in the street like in the Rocky movie
(C) use the cardboard boxes to securely hold other trash items and make sure to close the lid and/or re-seal the box
(D) cut the boxes up and put them in contractor trash bags (I added this one because this is what I do hehehe)


Number 3: When is the best time to set out garbage for collection?

(A) The City of Philadelphia's rule for the earliest time for collection
(B) Right before I go to bed, or if I leave my house that evening, set it out as late as possible
(C) If I know the trash guy comes during daylight on the following day, set it out the next morning to reduce the amount of time it stays exposed to the elements
(D) When the f____ ever


Number 4: When weeds start to grow over 12" on the edge of my property...

(A) the weeds act like trash collectors. They will retain trash that blows by and a mound will start to form over time.
(B) I should probably buy some Round-Up! at the store and spray the weeds once every month or so to make sure they never spread and help keep trash away from my house
(C) If I don't believe in chemicals, then I should get on my knees and pull the weeds while wearing gardening gloves, or if I have a lawn and a landscaper because I'm too old to bend over and de-weed, then have the landscaper do it.
(D) None of the above


Number 5: What kind of trash bags are best to place on the street?

(A) Tall kitchen bags
(B) Black garbage (aka "lawn") bags
(C) The plastic bag that I got from the Chinese take-out just moments before


Number 6: In a rowhouse neighborhood, is a leaf blower a good way to clear sidewalks?

(A) Yes
(B) No

__________________
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

“Anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks. So, you just think this through." Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL)

Yes there is a place where you wont be treated like a child.

Why I am voting Democrat!

Oh

Your lucky....Im the only one within a few houses to have a fence outside.....occasionally something blows up against the fence but its really not that bad out there.

As far as lawns go.....well....ive already had words with one neighbor who insists on cutting his lawn and leaving the grass on the sidewalk....two times I swept it all up and dumped it back on his grass....the third time we had a nice chat....and he hasnt done it since.



Oh the same neighbor is notorious for putting trash out a complete day ahead of time AND using bags from the dollar store instead of regular trash bags. Here is a photo I took back when I first moved in.....High quality turds if you ask me.



I use these all the time....I can get two or three 13 gallon kitchen bags plus other miscellaneous trash in one bag....and 99% of the time they dont rip:

__________________
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

“Anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks. So, you just think this through." Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL)

Yes there is a place where you wont be treated like a child.

Why I am voting Democrat!

Good to see that you're enjoying the NE.

Well, MMeat, at least this ain't no damn doggie-poop thread, but close enough.

I own an electric leaf-blower, it's a commercial twin-fan high powered thing, but I never use it. I prefer to get the trusty broom out after mowing, it's good cardio.

As for trash, yeah, I have a problem with the neighbors flyers, menus, etc, blowing from their property down to mine, where a fence calls a halt to its flight. I'm always picking up litter not because I'm afraid CLIP would bother me, but because I don't like a sh!tty-looking lawn.

I'm glad you take an interest in being tidy, just don't burn yourself out so soon after moving in. Concentrate on your own property, cause eventually those "peeking" neighbors will respond, I've seen it happen on my street. As for Cerbie, I commend him on being upfront with the neighbors. I certainly wouldn't tolerate my toes stepped on by slobs either, screw that.
Yeah, I pack the flimsy kitchen bags etc. into a black heavyweight bag. and put it out the night before.

__________________
"Accept the fact that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue"

Someone left illegal trash (unbagged stuff in an old laundry basket, etc.) in front of my house recently and it really ticked me off. I was lucky that I didn't get a ticket, but is there any way to prove you didn't do it?? I don't want to have to take care of/be liable for other people's messes

Apparently, they do.