Please forgive this slightly serious post. I will compensate by posting a photo of a cat in a wig at a later date, I promise. I am seeking the collective wisdom of the PB community.

I have a ridiculous problem. I got a promotion. As a friend of mine said to me: "congratulations and condolences." Truer words were never spoken. This promotion is requiring growth and dedication on my part that I have not had to deal with in many years. It is definitely a stretch.

My neuroses is that I feel myself slipping into that ridiculous American ideal of "my identity is my job." I feel more fragile than usual when receiving developmental feedback. My boss is actually a very good coach, so it's not like I'm getting screamed at. I am having a hard time getting to sleep, because I am worrying constantly about what I have to work on. I am constantly worrying that I will say or do the wrong thing. I am constantly worrying about "dropping the ball." On a couple of occasions, when work has felt too hard or perhaps I felt I wasn't living up to my role, I have broken into tears (not in front of people, thank God).

I feel guilty that my problem is that I have a good job, in a time when other people are being laid off and are losing their homes. I don't feel secure in my work and I feel like I am taking things way too personally.

Am I a candidate for psychotherapy or do I just need to get a hobby?

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"Do I need to post these links thousands of times?" --bloosum

I know what you mean. When I first started teaching (college) I was astounded that people were taking notes, and constantly worried that I was going to give them wrong information. I also kept expecting my chair to come into the room and say, so sorry,but you really suck, so we're going to have to get you another career. I thought I was the only one until a friend, who I considered to be quite accomplished, confessed to the same feelings of insecurity.

I think it's natural to worry about doing a good job when you get promoted to a position that you didn't really expect to fill. Just keep reminding yourself that the folks who gave you this position did so because they believe that you can not only handle the job, but do it well. Likely you will say something wrong. Somebody will tell you and you won't let it happen again. No big deal. It's happened to me; I was very upset, but then realized that the person who talked to me was doing it to help me out. Stop feeling guilty. You earned that position; nobody gave it to you on a whim, you didn't stumble into it or anything like that. Your hard work got you to where you are today.

On the more detail-oriented, practical side, try writing everything down left to do at the end of the day. This will be where you start the next day. Don't work yourself into a high level of stress over things you can't control. I think that women sometimes feel that we have to over-compensate for promotions and jobs. In the back of our minds is the small, nagging fear that others will find out that we don't think we deserve it.

Good luck with everything and yes, get a hobby that is nothing at all like work.

Cheers.

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Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the Government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding. -- Justice Louis D. Brandeis

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Becky. You absolutely nailed it on the head with that last sentence. I think there is a subconcious part of me that does feel I don't deserve this. And then there's another part of me that is fighting that first part to prove it wrong! And then there's another part of me that feels maybe the first part is right after all.

I have gotten into writing more lists than I used to, absolutely.

I have decided to try to return to my Buddhist meditations as soon as I can. I think that will help center me and learn to let go more of small things.

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"Do I need to post these links thousands of times?" --bloosum

I was going to suggest yoga...or a heavy bag.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

"Censorship is free advertising by the government"--Federico Fellini

"Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?"

Hahahaha! That is a great thought and very pertinent. I do try to keep up a regular workout schedule. That's been interrupted more recently because of my workload. I should probably prioritize that FIRST and then strive to fit in my work around that. I have a proven pattern of managing stress better when I am exercising regularly. I do that fun, bootcamp style workout which is all RAWWWWWR!

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"Do I need to post these links thousands of times?" --bloosum

My suggestion is .... write.

I have felt things like this in the past. The catharsis that comes from writing about what ails you, what you love, who you hate, how you love or hate can help a lot of those feelings dissipate. Get a blog or write a journal or diary. I've been amazed at how helpful it can be.

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www.inafunk.com
KOOZA REVIEW>>>NEW


HEY PHILLYBLOG - SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

I took up golf in grad school for that reason. My advisor's face looked very nice on that golf ball. And, boy, did my drives have distance! I still go to the driving range for stress relief.

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Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the Government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding. -- Justice Louis D. Brandeis

Try everything people suggested. If you're still anxious or stressed out to a higher degree than what's normal for you, then consider psychotherapy.

Oooooh...does that work for the actual thesis as well?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

"Censorship is free advertising by the government"--Federico Fellini

"Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?"

that's how I relax....

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"And Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they're going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and Election Day."--Rev. Arnold Conrad