I am a mother in need of help with my eight year old who is diagnosed with adhd. I have tried various theripist and all failed him they basically write down a goal for that week and reward him for it with stickers if he follows through well he gets all the rewards for home because i'm his mother and i'll beat his ass if doesn't do right but the problem is in school he has already been suspended 2wice and the constant calling i am a mother of 3 and i really need help with my middle child in school i even signed him up 4 a tss worker 2 sit in class with him and of course he is on a waiting list what do i do in the meantime before he's kicked out of school . he's already suspended for 3 days prior to xmas break. CAN ANYBODY HELP ME A DESPERATE MOTHER!!!!

Well, I don't advocate "beating his ass" for something he has difficulty controlling (or really, for anything).

You might want to invest in a book called "1-2-3 Magic." The premise is simple, and probably something you've already done (counting him "out" for repeated transgressions), but the book does a great job of explaining how the consequences should work and how to enforce it. I, personally, was shocked at how quickly and how well it worked with my daughter.

Once you've read the book and understand all the concepts, and made sure your son understands them, introduce it to his teachers (many teachers are already familiar with the technique), and they can use it in school.

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---Shosh

Children's Seashore House, associated with Children's Hospital, has an Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Clinic. They are located at 3405 Civic Center Blvd. 19104. The main number is 215-597-7447.

There is also a local chapter of Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) in Langhorn PA where you can connect with other parents with AD/HD kids. Their number is 215-736-1541.

Finally, here is a link to the website of The National Resource Center on AD/HD: http://www.help4adhd.org/

Good luck!!

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Firstly, no one knows what causes ADHD symptoms. They could be based on habit, purposeful desire to be disruptive, boredom, lack of education about education (why am I in school?), emotional problems such as not having a father, or some kind of strange brain problem.

Most cases which I've ever seen are due to boredom. The kid has no idea why they're in school or what the classes are for. That's because the parents aren't too smart themselves and don't model good student behavior. At home you say, don't do XYZ, but you never say why, so it's all a big joke.

The second is that the kid is twisted up inside due family problems and can't focus on school because it doesn't matter. Also, they feel badly and act out a lot or act out to punish a parent who they believe drove away the other one.

In Philly the number one reason is that the schools are so crazy and stressful that they can't focus and are being driven crazy by stress. So, they come home wired as well.

Behavior Modification Plan:

That's the thing with the stickers, can you tell me more about how it works.


Mean Things I Have to Say:

Beating:

You sound black when you say that.

I needs to stop. All it does is teach your child to hate and not trust you. Plus, it doesn't inspire a fascination for learning. Eventually, he will become immune to the beating and then he'll be a monster, trust me.

Question and Request:

Since I'm a man who's vastly more intelligent and educated than you on this subject, I judge you to be in error. Since you're old enough to know better, that gives me the right to beat your ass.

Please post your name and address here and all of the men online will come to your place and teach you a lesson.

Another Question:

Would that actually teach you a lesson.

Answer:

No.

yet in another thread someone states the black delinquency is caused by a lack of beatings.

No, it's caused by too many beatings.

Many black parents beat first then do nothing later. It's not uncommon for things like boards to be used.

This creates a passive aggressive sneak and or a violent person who is just doing what they've learned.

What I'm getting from the OP is her total exasperation, mostly from the school suspensions and the pressure being placed on her. Threatening to ...or actually hitting the child, is totally counter productive to what the behavior modification thing is all about! My advice would be to hook-up with some of the support groups that your therapist should be able to recommend. At this point in time, you really need to educate yourself about the management of the behaviors and provide a structured environment that all the children in your family need, to thrive. It's probably going to be a whole lot of work, but if you don't do it, no one else will. There is no magic pill. The child needs a consistent and structured home environment with rewards and consequences that he understands. Peace

If you want some advice on how to do a good B Mod program, I have plenty.

The idea is to keep goals simple, so that he can win, and have rewards which are meaningful.

You are so right about the winning thing. These kids are constantly being compared to siblings/schoolmates etc. who are "achieving" while they constantly are being told that they're "failing". "Bad" is a word that is almost synonymous with their name!! Their self-esteem is soooo low that they fall into a downward cycle of despair. The good things they say and do need to be acknowledged!

Yes, a B Mod program is designed to make the kid feel good about achieving his goal, enjoy the meaningful reward he gets, and become conditioned to your giving it to him. It's important that the kid agree to the goal, and pick his own reasonable reward. If the kid is given a goal that is stupid to him or a reward means nothing, then the plan won't work.

In this case, the "punishment" will be not getting your reward and nothing else is to be added to the punishment, such as pain.

Also, if his only goal is to put away the dishes, and he does, but then pinches his sister, he still gets the reward because there is no current goal about pinching your sister. That's to make sure that you're defeating things like an addiction to negative attention. He can win at at least one thing, even if the rest of the day was crap.