How Philly Are You?

[Winston]

The current issue of Philadelphia magazine (with Andy Reid on the cover in Ben Franklin garb!) has a list of what it claims are “the 65 things you have to do, eat, debate, read, steal, coddle believe, say, fear, accept, detest, avoid or be able to rattle off while being jostled in line to be really Philly.” They don’t make their content available online but here’s the gist of it. I summarized in parentheses ones that aren’t self-evident by the title. Keep score and then post your results at the end. Note, I discarded the 15 items about the main line (obviously added to coddle waspy suburban readers), so there’s an even 50 below.

1. Catch the Mummers on Two Street (where they’re even drunker than during the parade).
2. Buy a house in a neighborhood you wouldn’t have set foot in 10 years ago (mentions the usual suspects: Graduate Hospital, Fishtown, West Philly).
3. Pay homage to Rocky (by jogging on 9th street, not the art museum steps like the tourists).
4. Decipher a traffic report (they list three cryptic examples full of abbreviations and nicknames).
5. Buy liquor in Delaware or NJ, breaking laws, of course.
6. Refuse to pay your PGW bill on time.
7. Know a great little place in Chinatown.
8. Hate lawyers/be a lawyer. (Mentions the glut of lawyers here, and offers this quote: “Any three Philadelphia lawyers are a match for the devil.” Paging Brooke, lawmummy and Hal.)
9. Freak out about snowstorms (stock up at the first reports of a storm).
10. Suffer a devastating sports disappointment.
11. Consider a bottle of booze in a brown paper bag a hot accessory (because you like BYOBs, not because you’re a wino).
12. Go “off leash” in Fairmount Park (dog walkers who flout leash laws).
13. Properly order a cheesesteak (mentions the well-known protocol, lingo and options).
14. Keep thinking you’ll take up rowing.
15. Understand parking in the city (e.g., reserving a spot with a folding chair, chaos in South Philly, knowing where to find cheap lots in center city).
16. Have a fantasy SEPTA route (what you’d like them to build someday—we should all get this one, as there are several Phillyblog threads on it).
17. Spell “Schuylkill” without checking a map.
18. Call the Wachovia Center the First Union Center. Call the Linc the Vet. Call the Pontiac Grille JC Dobbs. Call the Governor Mayor Rendell. Call Lord & Taylor’s Wanamaker’s. Etc.
19. Hate the wage tax.
20. Don’t think it’s strange to call something “water ice.”
21. Venture below Washington Avenue.
22. Call Penn “U. Penn.” (To distinguish it from Penn State, because of an alleged inferiority complex.)
23. Send relatives to the Liberty Bell and the Constitution Center (but skip it yourself).
24. Have a favorite town “down the shore” (and a good backroads route to get there).
25. Regularly confuse the City Paper with Philadelphia Weekly (I don’t understand why this gives you Philly cred, so I offer this as an alternate: “You remember when Philadelphia Weekly was called The Welcomat”)
26. Ride a bike along Kelly Drive.
27. Know that Philly streets are two lanes—not one—and drive accordingly.
28. Be able to locate a Wawa within 10 minutes of wherever you are in the city.
29. Know SEPTA trains don’t run on time in the fall because of “wet leaves.”
30. Appreciate the subtle institutional voice of the Daily News—and read it every day (mentions several examples of DN bluntness).
31. Filter your water (because our tap water is so disgusting).
32. Only visit the art museum on Sunday mornings, when it’s free.
33. When asked who your favorite newspaper columnist is, mention someone who no longer writes a column here.
34. Have voted in an unconventional polling area, such as a Krispy Kreme.
35. Smoke your brains out (funny accompanying photo of a guy lighting about 15 cigarettes simultaneously).
36. Be able to identify more Philly weathermen and Stephen Starr cocktails than you can list your own cousins.
37. Be a complete snob about NJ until you move there because houses are so cheap.
38. Accept the zen of flight delays on the runway (i.e., you expect chronic airport delays).
39. If you’re male, wait in the elevator until all the women get out (um, since when is this just a Philly thing?)
40. Take out of town guests to the Mutter museum (to see the weird medical oddities).
41. Attend a concert at the Mann.
42. Have a favorite in the following food rivalries: Hymie’s v. Murray’s, Pat’s v. Geno’s, Isgro v. Termini Bros.)
43. Call Yuengling lager simply “lager.”
44. See the negative in everything.
45. Cry when you get your car insurance bill.
46. Correctly pronounce the following: Passyunk, Hockessin, Conshohocken, Runnemede, Bala Cynwyd, Manayunk.
47. Feel a little sad after they take down the colored lights in Rittenhouse Square after the holidays.
48. Have a least favorite mural.
49. Realize with horror that St. Joe’s Prep graduates run everything (among others, Fumo, Johnny Doc, Nutter, Brian O’Neill and Jim Kenny all went there).
50. Go to New York for a weekend, come back to Philly, and have two reactions: (1) this place is small. (2) I’m glad I don’t live in New York.

My score is 36. How about youse?

Also, let's add to the list all the things Phillymag missed. I'll get the ball rolling:

51. You know a place you suspect is a mob hangout and/or a person you suspect is connected.
52. You jaywalk at will, expertly dodging traffic much like the video game Frogger.
53. Your favorite DJ is Pierre Robert.

[SwiftLyons]

21. Venture below Washington Avenue.

:rolling_: :clapping:
love that one man

[Dave]

14 :oops:

[Dave]

14 :oops:

[josef]

Originally Posted by Winston

50. Go to New York for a weekend, come back to Philly, and have two reactions: (1) this place is small. (2) I’m glad I don’t live in New York.

every time i go to ny i come back winded thinking god, that place is unwalkable.

[hr]

Originally Posted by SwiftLyons

:rolling_: :clapping:
love that one man

Are there points for venturing above Washington Ave.?

[niel]

27. I feel reasonably proud, since I didn't grow up here. I question some of them, too, however - especially that CP/PW thing. I would say that a true Philadelphian would a) know the difference and b) prefer one over the other (I'm a City Paper man myself) OR alternately c) not give a damn about either one.

[Madgirl]

They should have mentioned the Wannamaker light show - and that the removal of the "water" (best part) really stinks.

I scored 31 -

[lawmummy]

34, but I should get double points for #8 as I am a lawyer who hates lawyers! Brooke, Madgirl, Hal...?

As to this one:

Originally Posted by Winston

37. Be a complete snob about NJ until you move there because houses are so cheap.

Horrors! I don't think true Philly folks (which I consider myself, even though I have only been here a bit over 10 years now) REALLY move to Jersey. My theory is that those are the folks who always wanted out. If I move out of the City, it surely won't be to Jersey!

[chrissayer]

29.