It really depends on what you want out of your vacation. If a boardwalk is something you want for entertainment, bike riding, etc. - then OC or Wildwood are definite options, along with Seaside Heights. We've grown to enjoy Seaside Heights just because it feels like we actually went away, aka we rarely run into anyone we know there. With your kids ages, definitely consider a trip to Storybookland if you go with OC or Wildwood.

For quieter beach vacationing, we enjoyed time in Surf City on LBI - house was beachblock, you can hear the surf inside of the house - short drive to Seaside Heights for a boardwalk trip.

Lately, we've become attached to Chincoteague, VA (okay, it's not Jersey, but it's just over a 3 hour drive so it's a viable option). It's quiet, has great fishing, pretty beaches - it's what we want for a beach vacation and very reasonable (it doesn't make the Caribbean a fair comparison like other shore destinations along the Atlantic Coast!).

The best advice is to try several in the next few years, we are blessed to have so many options nearby