That's some list of complaints.
Certainly your issues with the bilirubin are valid, but as for the rest, I think you need to remember you were at a hospital, not a hotel.

I've delivered 2 babies at PA Hospital, and both experiences were as pleasant as I could ask for childbirth. The doctors and nurses were wonderful. Were there some cranky people? Sure, they are everywhere.

Were there men in the breastfeeding class? Sure. But if you're going to nurse a baby, you need to get over that. The men weren't there to stare at your breasts, they were there to support their parnters.

Yes, only 2 visitors. They tell you this when you take the tour. There are many other birthing options which would allow additional visitors- if that's your thing, you should have investigated before he birth.

Yes, they will make you hold a leg. If you thought you were going to pass out, you should have spoken up and told someone.

Yes, they will make you diaper your baby. I know, shocking. They do offer classes on diapering/bathing/caring for a baby.

For the most part, you do need to change your own ice pack in your underwear. And put the Tucks pads in. There simply are not enough nurses to attend to your every whim, nor should they have to unless you have a medical issue rendering you incapable.

Your stay for a vaginal birth was typical. Blame that on insurance.

And if you are going to nurse your baby- having the baby stay with you in your room is ideal. The baby needs to nurse on demand, and needs to be put on the breast as often as possible. Your wife wasn't going to get an 8 hour nap even if the baby stayed in the nursery- they'd just be bringing him back all night.

And no, they are not required to feed fathers. Lots of dads pack snacks in the hospital bag.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, and that your son was ill. But many of your complaints are quite superficial, and show that you did not investigate the process of having a baby in a hospital. Some of the people are not going to be perpetually perky, nor are they going to cater to your every whim.